It’s apparently been almost 3 months since I last write here so hello (again).
I just came back from a recent trip and am currently on another one while working on some scheduled posts for the upcoming weeks. There are so many things I can’t wait to share with you from my recent trip and so much I want to talk about, but first, I feel the need to address the obvious elephant in the room:
Where on earth have I been?
Good question, because the last thing I posted here was the story of how I got kicked out from my apartment.
First of all, I’m okay. I’m not living on the streets or something, but constantly commuting between my family home and the room I now rent near campus. I’m madly in love with living at my new place because I’ve moved most of my stuff back home so there’s this clean, minimalist and clutter-free vibe about the place. Also, the people in the area have been super welcoming and I live around my friends which means I can easily visit them like Monica visiting Joey and Chandler in “Friends”. Haha.
Now, to answer that big question, I’ve actually been super busy with university stuff, especially since I’m in my senior year now (and on the verge of truly entering adult world, eeek!) I use to think no matter how hard everyone who’s graduated claims senior year to be that I would be able to tackle it anyway with proper time management, but now that I’m experiencing it, I’ve come to the realization that it’s super difficult to even get everything that needs to be done actually done within 24 hours. Between sleeping at midnight to finish up work on an almost daily basis and other extracurricular projects I’m currently a part of, I haven’t been able to properly sit down and write freely for so long. Heck, I haven’t even had the chance to travel as much as last year and this blog is supposed to be a travel blog.
But that’s not a good enough excuse for me not even saying anything on this blog when I’ve been active on social media anyway. No, I’ve been through really busy times before and have still found the time and topics to blog anyway.
So what else is it?
Well, to tell you the truth, I lost a lot of motivation earlier this year. Heck, I even thought about saying goodbye and quitting altogether, which has never happened before.
Perhaps it’s the trapped of my own perfectionism which I’ve previously addressed here and combined with the demon called “comparison”, but I’ve felt like nothing I’ve been trying to write has been good enough to be released into this blog. I felt like I wasn’t getting to where I wanted when I started this blog, so why bother continuing? I felt trapped and boxed in by my own expectations regarding this blog and wanted to scrap the project and start all over.
I’ve actually written drafts for several posts on a lot of topics I’ve been wanting to discuss, but discarded them because I felt like they weren’t good enough for the site or they didn’t embody the idea of “h(a)ere” enough or they weren’t as good as some old stuff I used to write. And I felt like crap that I kept on writing stuff that even I wouldn’t read.
So I decided to focus on university work for a moment, step back from blogging in hopes that ideas will finally hit me and I’ll find the motivation to blog again.
What made you come back?
To tell you the truth, it starts with a shift of mindset.
One of the things I read for class this semester was this book called Do Purpose: Why Brands with a Purpose Do Better and Matter More by David Hieatt and it really gave me this epiphany of why I’ve lost that motivation to blog. You see, I lost the purpose of this blog and became too focused on the numbers – the views, the likes, the stats, all that jazz. I mean yes, numbers are important to help put your blog on the map and all that, but it’s actually when I stopped caring about the numbers too much that I write with purpose.
I was actually surprised that while I was gone, this blog still has readers with the most read post being the one about KL vs Singapore vs Jakarta. That post was actually written on the spur of the moment, simply because I wanted to share a different angle on the three cities apart from what’s usually out there, hopefully helping some people on what to expect from the three cities and I didn’t expect anyone to care about it. And yet a lot of people do.
And that’s when I realize that this is what this blog should be – a travel blog which contents are different from what is already out there, a place where stories that no one has ever told are talked about, a megaphone for voices no one has previously heard.
This will be my purpose, moving forward with this blog.
Also, you’ve made me come back.
Yes, you, reader of this post. You who follow this blog. You who ask me “why are there no updates on your blog?” You who tell me that my blog posts have helped you out or impacted you in some way.
You keep me going. You’ve made me not want to quit this thing because now my purpose is to help you and share things I’ve discovered on the road or around home with you and connect you with amazing people who have amazing stories.
I see you and I thank you.
First of all, I’m not going to quit this blog. That’s for sure.
As I said earlier, I’ve been trying to schedule posts to come up every week on h(a)ere so whatever’s going on in my week, a new post will still be here. And yes, that means I’ll try my best to keep a consistent, weekly schedule of posting. Also, I’ll try my best to write with purpose and for a purpose instead of just thinking about numbers in my head.
I seriously want to thank you for sticking with the blog even though there’s been nothing new here for 2 months and I really hope you’ll continue to be a part of this blog in the many, many days to come.
Also, I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever had a similar experience of nearly quitting something you love out of a loss of motivation? Or perhaps, do you have any ideas on dealing with something like that? Do share your thoughts and stories below and let’s talk about it!
(Ps: if you’re curious to read that book that gave me the epiphany, click the link I’ve attached above to buy the book directly from its author, David Hieatt. I’m not affiliated with David Hieatt in any way nor am I being paid to promote the book. It’s just a super great book to read if you’re feeling stuck in life – be it in your craft or your personal life – and considering the topic it discusses, it’s actually such a light and fun read so I hope you’d get it.)